...and you think MY cats are fat...?

they've got nothing on this one!

Colberts Twat fiasco.

*EXCLUSIVE* Mini Review of "Bruno"!

I recently had the opportunity to see Sasha Barron Cohen's newest film Bruno. For those of you who don't know, Bruno is a character from The Ali G Show (the same show where Borat came from). Bruno's character (played by Sasha Barron Cohen) is a nineteen year old gay German fashion designer. The film plays and looks a lot like Borat, but you can tell the filmmakers looked at Borat and realized what worked and what didn't work.

The film starts off with Bruno loosing his job in Germany. He quickly decides he wants to go to America to become a Star, and will do WHATEVER it takes. When I say whatever, I mean whatever. Everything from adopting African babies to trying to go straight. If you thought Borat was crude and inappropriate, you haven't seen anything yet. Since Bruno's character is openly gay, expect lots of crotch gyrating and nakedness (complete with comically large sensor bar!).

From there, Bruno films his own television show, joins the coast guard, goes hunting with some Texans, and even goes to a Swingers party! Each scene is as hilarious as the next, and it's taking ever fiber in my being to not ruin each hilarious scene! While some scenes are a little more obviosuly staged, it never takes away from the film and always keeps you wanting more.

The truth is, I havent laughed so much at a movie in so long! Is the movie like Borat? yes. Is that a bad thing? No. This movie takes hidden camera comedy to a whole new level and if I had to describe this movie in two words it would be "VERRYYYY NIICCCEE!!!".

fmylife of the day

"Today, I was watching TV on my new flatscreen. I got a knock at the door, an elderly woman asking for help with her car. 30mins into checking out the engine, she asked for some water. I go back inside to find my backdoor busted in and my new flatscreen missing. I turn back to find the lady gone. FML"

My New Favorite Band!

fmylife of the day

"Today, my wife told me that she wanted a divorce. It is also my 39th birthday today. For my birthday present, she gave me a subscription to match.com. FML"

fmylife of the day

"Today, for my two-year anniversary I got my girlfriend a very expensive diamond necklace. She got me male enhancement pills. FML"

My New Favorite Site

http://www.fmylife.com/

Its like a more epic version of post secret.

you gotta have a slightly dark sense of humor to get into it, but basically fucked up shit happens to people and they tell you about it in 1-2 sentences.

fmylife of the day:

"Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains.I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room.When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing. FML"

You Know What Happens When You ASS-U-ME Don't You? (I Write an Angery Blog About You!)

SPANISH FOR "WHITE PEOPLE ARE FUCKING IDIOTS"

Now, I LOVE Chipotle, and it's easily one of my favorite ways to spend Eight Bucks (when it's not New Comic Book Wednesday). Despite it being a Chain owned by a Burger joint, not much has changed about it, besides the fact they don't give free drinks to College Students anymore, the cheap bastards.. Anyways the food is still delicious and the portions are still aplenty.

But I do have a problem with what is perhaps the best of the White Washed Mexican Food Establishments. It's how they treat white people. I'm dead serious, they think we are all cheap little bitches who can't handle anything spicier than a Tomato. While this stereotype is mostly true where I live, to me its just as bad as if I started speaking Chinese to ever Asian person I saw on the street.

Lets start at the beginning. I enjoy Carnitas, but everytime I tell them I want that on my burrito they have this look on their face like "wow the gringo didn't get the chicken, weird!". Whenever they go to put the salsa on, they ALWAYS go for the mild. ALWAYS! And Guacamole is the worst. I have never been to Chipotle where they didn't tell me it was extra. Which is fine, because I assume it's because a lot of dumb people don't bother to read the menu. BUT THEY ONLY ASK WHITE PEOPLE. I have made note of this. Go to Chipotle and go see for yourself. Whitey will order his burrito and they say "It's a dollarsomething extra, is that ok??" and then anyone of a different ethnicity will order Guacamole and its all grand.

I think I'm gonna start wearing a shirt that reads "YES I KNOW THE GUACAMOLE IS EXTRA" every time I go in there, just to speed up the racistness.

So in closing, I gotta ask "Chipotle, why ya gotta be keepin' da white man down?"

A Shameless Plug

I know I haven't updated in a while, but it seems like I can't think of anything to write about! If you guys have any ideas, please tell me!

In the mean time, here's a video me and my friend helped shoot with MC Lars for the song "Guitar Hero Hero (Beating Guitar Hero Doesn't Make You Slash)" from his new album "THIS GIGANTIC ROBOT KILLS" (IN STORES NOW)!!

The lighting and the rock meter, that's all me baby!